Ghost in the Machine
by Palaven Blues
Summary: They thought they were done. They thought the killing was finished. But even after the Reaper War, Shep and her crew are still seconds from death. For the Halloween competition at Aria's Afterlife. WARNINGS: for gore, murder, non-con, etc.
1. Chapter 1

_WARNINGS! So, the feedback I was getting for this is it was brutal. Warnings for gore, a noncon situation, stuff like that. It is in fact a horror fic, for a Halloween competition. If these kind of things are on your Squick List, you might be better off giving this a miss. Oh, and this is NOT a part of my main continuity._

* * *

Shepard

Shepard sighed, looking at the ship. _Her_ ship, now. "Can't believe they just gave me the damn thing."

"Hey." Garrus wrapped an arm around her shoulders. She turned in his arms, resting her forehead on his chest.

"You earned it," he told her. "You killed all the Reapers."

"Dammit, Garrus, don't start with all that—" She shook her head, willing herself not to cry as the faces of all the dead swam before her. They lost Jack, burning herself out in a biotic blaze trying to save her students. Javik, pulling some kind of "Last Son of the Protheans" stunt. Wrex and Grunt, both missing in the final battle. Samara, Zaeed, Kasumi, all fallen to the monstrosity that was the Reaper invasion of Earth. And at the end, she made Legion's sacrifice mean nothing, when she chose to kill not only all the geth, but her friend EDI, as well, if that's what it took to stop the Reapers. She looked up at Garrus's face, wanting to tell him, to explain herself ….

"Hey there, Commander."

Shep's mouth snapped shut as Joker ambled up, carrying a duffel. She shifted out of Garrus's arms, not missing the look of disappointment on the big turian's face. Over the past few weeks, he looked younger than he had in a long time. A flurry of medals and dinners in their honor, along with the fact of the Reapers' defeat, had taken all the worry off him. She envied him.

Not so Joker. Joker looked as though someone had taken his will to live away from him.

_Someone? You mean me. I did that._ "Look, Joker, if you don't want to re-up on my crew—"

"Nah, it's …." He glanced up toward Garrus, and the turian gave a little head-bob; Shepard was never going to get used to all this body language he used when he didn't have to act like a soldier all the time. The head-bob was a graceful way to excuse himself, and he headed up the ramp to the _Normandy._

"I mean it, Joker. If you don't want to do this …." Shep trailed off, helpless to finish the sentence. What could she say to him? She murdered his bond-mate.

Joker heaved a deep sigh. "I … I think it would be good for me. To keep her memory alive, just a little longer, if I can."

"All right, then." She forced a smile, clapping Joker on the shoulder. She had to tell Garrus that she _chose_ to kill EDI and the geth, that there were other options, no matter how shitty they seemed.

She didn't think she could ever explain it to Joker.

"Eh, Lola!" Vega called.

Joker rolled his eyes. "I should go," he said, hobbling onto the ship.

"Eh, Vega,_ como estas?"_

"I'm all right." Vega shrugged, muscles rippling. "Still waiting on my Spectre recommendation, Lola." His voice dipped low, a playful growl that made her grin.

"I am almost done with it. I'll send it in, don't worry." Shepard relaxed infinitesimally. She hadn't killed any of Vega's people, at least.

Vega shook his head. "I bet the recommendation letter for Scars is all finished up."

Shep's mouth dropped open in mock-outrage. "Now that is just unfair, sir. I am sending them both at the same time."

"Sure, sure … but you finished his already, right?"

Shaking her head, Shep fought not to laugh. "Get your beefcake ass on my ship before we leave without you."

"Sure thing, sure thing. Just, uh … if you go bragging on sexual prowess in his rec, make sure to give me the opportunity to prove myself, too?" He dodged the punch she aimed for him, chuckling as he made his way to the ship. "Still can't dance for shit, Lola," he called.

"I hate to break it to you, Admiral. But you are surrounded by _bosh'tet."_

Shepard turned to see Tali, and slung an arm around her waist so they could walk aboard together. "Too true, Admiral. But I wouldn't trade them for anything." She hesitated, just a brief stutter in her step as she crossed the threshold onto the actual ship. She would have traded the whole ship for something, anything else; it felt haunted here, now. She could hear EDI and the geth, asking her why she had betrayed them at the last moment; why she had worked so hard to carry everyone, only to drop them at the last second.

_"Shepard-Commander, this unit does not understand … was my sacrifice pointless?"_

_"My" sacrifice. No, Legion, it was not pointless. Believe me, I am doing everything I can to make sure no one's sacrifice was meaningless. And I know it can't bring you back, but I have Tali and Liara working on the platforms, trying to see if any of your people can live again._

There was no answer, of course. The only place they existed was inside her mind.

#

"So, where are pointing this bird?" Joker asked, shoveling noodles into his face.

"Bird?" Garrus asked, sitting up straighter and dropping his fork.

"I meant the ship. Not you, Tweety."

Vega laughed out loud, and Tali snerked something behind her face mask; she had already drunk three tall iced tea glasses of something pink and fruity and definitely alcoholic. Vega appeared to be drinking the same stuff, but his were levo.

Hopefully.

Garrus pouted. "Liara, am I the victim of a hate crime? It feels like I am."

"By the Goddess," Liara muttered, ignoring Garrus's plea for help. "I cannot believe this sort of nonsense is still going on."

Shepard just grinned. It was good to have her whole crew around her again. Well … what was left of them.

_Er … mostly._ Kaidan and Sam sat a little ways away, heads bent close to each other in a corner, discussing some tech thing that Shepard couldn't quite follow. The rest sat gathered around the table, eating and relaxing, and joking back and forth._ Just like old times,_ she thought, not quite sure what she meant. Surely they had never been so relaxed as this.

"I know my vote, Lola. We need to go on vay—cay—tion. Pretty beaches, pretty girls, plenty to drink. Go get _locos_ somewhere."

Shepard raised a teasing eyebrow. "Seems like you guys just had a vacation. You remember, I was laid up in the hospital, hooked up to machines?"

"That wasn't a vacation!" Garrus protested. "I remember trawling through the jungle, looking for enough food, while also desperately making repairs to the ship before we all starved." He shook his head, chuffing lightly. "Definitely not a vacation."

Shepard flapped one hand like a mouth while Garrus talked. The rest of the crew started snickering before he even noticed.

"Oh, very nice." His mandibles did a weird double-twitch; so much new body language to learn. "I'll remember later tonight that you have a problem with my mouth …."

Liara blushed a startling shade of blue, while Tali shrieked laughter and sprayed the inside of her faceplate with half-frozen pink drink.

"Oh,_ keelah sen'ai delles bosh._ Excuse me, please." She got up from the table, Kaidan popping up to take her arm and guide her away. Sam followed, waving at the group before she left.

"I'll volunteer!" Vega said. "If Scars and his mouth are mad at you, I will sub in." He snagged her hand, making a slurring speech in his native tongue. The half of the words Shepard knew were bad enough to make her face heat.

"I should go," Liara mumbled, still blushing.

"Vega," Garrus rumbled. "Your pea-brain may be small, but remember I can still snipe it right out of your skull from five klicks away." He folded his hand into a gun shape, and the noise he made for the shot caused everyone to jump.

"Easy, Vega." She grinned at Garrus, then added in a stage-whisper, "We'll have to wait 'til he's asleep."

"Welp, that's it. I think I'm out," Joker announced. He stood, grabbing his food trash, and Shepard felt a pang of guilt hit her. They were having fun, sure. But he'd just lost his bondmate … because of her.

"Joker," she said, calling him back. "Where would you go? If you got to choose, where would you go on vacation?"

"Eye of the Goddess," he replied, without even a pause to think. "Beautiful atoll island on Illium. Blue sand beaches, ridiculously gorgeous waters, and plenty of jungle cover to keep out of the sun. Always makes those lists of places to go before you die."

"Jungle? We just got back from the jungle," Garrus muttered.

"Sounds good. Let's head that way, then." Shep slapped her hand down on the table; decision made.

"Seriously, we almost died. In the jungle." His head snapped around, seeming like he was looking for support.

"Oooh, does this mean I'll finally see Lola in a bikini?" Vega waggled his eyebrows, sticking his tongue out.

"Alenko? Traynor? You two remember the jungle we almost died in, right?" he called down the hall, but the techs were too far gone to hear. Mandibles fluttered, and Shepard leaned over to kiss one as she cleared her trash.

"Come on, people. Let's get our shit cleaned up and head to some nice beachfront property for a couple weeks."

A small cheer went up at that, and Garrus sighed, dual-tones full of disappointment. "I'd rather go to a damn hotel."

#

Shep washed her face, sighing to herself. She'd killed them. Killed all of them. She didn't deserve to be here, still. Out of all the lost, it should have been any one of them, rather than her.

"Shep? Are you all right in there?" Garrus knocked at the bathroom door.

"I'm fine, give me a minute." She checked herself in the mirror before going out to her cabin. Bloodshot eyes, check. Dark circles underneath, check. Looked like the weight of the galaxy on her shoulders was killing her even though it was supposed to be over?

Double-check.

_"I don't think so, Skipper. You killed too many of us for you to rest easy."_

"Noted," Shep whispered. She opened the door to find Garrus hovering on the other side, his face a picture of concern.

"Tell me," he rumbled.

She shook her head. "Don't know what you're talking about, big guy." She tried to walk by him, but two steps and he grabbed her arm, reeling her back toward him. Talons grazed her back, scratching gently, and she melted into him.

"Tell me," he said again, half invitation and half command.

"I killed them all," Shep whispered, her face crumpling as she buried it in his chest. She wept, for the first time in years. All the lost, and every one of them her fault. Jenkins, Ash, Taylor, Miranda, Thane, Mordin, Kasumi—

"Hush … hush, love."

She realized she had been speaking them aloud only when Garrus shushed her, scooping her up and carrying her to the bed. She hiccoughed, trying to stop, but he stroked her hair, and she was sobbing again.

"You only did what you had to," he purred. His subvocals calmed her, even though she couldn't really hear them. Not well enough to know what he was saying, anyway. Still, the soothing grumbles spoke to her frazzled nerves, allowing her to eventually wind down.

"I didn't, though. At the end. I didn't _only_ do what I had to."

Garrus's hand paused on her hair. "What do you mean?"

"I … I made a choice." She paused, but Garrus didn't jump in, so she continued. "At the end, destroying the Reapers was one option. The other two were somehow blending DNA with the synthetics—"

"Synthetic DNA? That doesn't—"

Shep glared, then continued. "Or choosing to control the Reapers. I could have stopped them without sacrificing EDI and the geth." She hid her face against his carapace again, waiting for the judgment. Craving it, needing to be berated for the monster she'd become.

"You made the right call," he finally said.

"How can you think that? The only reason I didn't pick one of the others was to _maybe_ save my sorry hide—"

"I doubt that." Garrus pressed his mouthplates against her forehead, chirping at her. "I have seen you rush headlong into danger more times than I can count. I have seen you destroyed over and over again when a sacrifice was needed, and you couldn't do it yourself. Shepard, you literally died in this war. A couple of times, if you count them having to restart you after the Citadel fell to Earth. You never would have made that choice for selfish reasons."

Shep pushed away from him, getting up to start pacing. "Control. I could have sacrificed myself to control the fuckers. We could have used their damn help to get the relays running again."

Garrus sighed, rolling over to make himself comfortable on the bed. "And who's to say that would have worked? Maybe it would have killed you, and done nothing to stop the Reapers."

"Well, then, Synthesis—"

"Is that the one with the synthetic DNA? I know science isn't your strong point, love, but think about that one. It sounds like something some kid came up with as a joke. Who told you about these options, anyway? Were our guys working on this while we were convincing people to fight?"

Shep shook her head, sending her short hair flying. "No, it was … it was one of them." She looked up at him slowly. "Do you think … was it lying?" She crept toward the bed again, her heart thumping painfully. Did she dare hope?

Garrus grabbed her, pulling her into a spooning position, nibbling at the back of her neck. "Of course it was lying. The other option is machines with DNA. Let me just repeat that. Machines. With DNA. It sounds like their last-ditch effort to stop you from winning the war."

"Oh, God, Garrus. You have no idea …. I was so …."

"You should have told me sooner," he chided, growling into her neck while his hands ran over her hips. He paused, then, as if struck by a sudden thought. "You know, I wouldn't tell Joker, though. I'm not sure he would see it that way.

Just like that, her heart froze again. "Shit, no, he'll never understand."

"Well, not never. I mean, he only knew her, what? A year?"

Shep pushed away again, rolling to look at him. "Don't be a dick, Vakarian. How long did you know me before I was shot down over Alchera? Were you fine after that?"

"Point taken."

_"I'll make sure not to mention it, either."_

"Liara?" Shep yelled, sitting up. "Are you listening in?"

_"My apologies, Shepard. But this lovely network EDI left allows me to hear everything on the ship—"_

"Shut it down," Shep ordered. Garrus pulled her in close to his chest once more.

_"Yes, Commander. Right away._"

"You're so sexy when you growl," he said. "When we get officially bonded, you'll be able to growl your part of the ceremony, and sound almost like a native."

"When we … what, now?" Shepard kept her face composed. Had he meant that?

Garrus squirmed, mandibles held tight as he avoided her gaze. "Well, you know. I mean, if you want to."

She let the silence draw out a bit longer, loving how he blushed a dark blue on his neck, just where the plating started. Then she leaned in to kiss him, and his arms went around her as his subharmonics sang a song of relief.

"I think we're plenty bonded already, big guy, but if you want the fancy ceremony, I guess I can fit it into my schedule."

"You … are a tease," Garrus drawled, rolling her under him. He leaned in to kiss her, and for a short time, Shepard managed to forget about everything, as the stars flew by in the skylight and Garrus bonded with her again, and again.


	2. Chapter 2

_Seriously. Warnings all over the rest of this story._

* * *

Vega

James stretched as the crew filed off the ship. "Pretty enough," he said. Tali and Sam murmured about the natural beauty of the island, while Liara explained about the coral that made the sand of the atoll sapphire-blue.

"You're sure it's not just asari love for all things blue?" James asked, winking; he didn't care why it was blue, but he loved getting a rise out of that uptight asari.

Kaidan and Lola chuckled, while Garrus looked mystified.

"What's wrong with blue? I like blue …."

"It's sex thing, Spikes," Joker said, clapping him on the shoulder. "You may not remember because you've been sleeping with pink for so long."

"Sleeping with—inappropriate, Flight Lieutenant. Very inappropriate." Mandibles twitched in embarrassment, and all James could do was laugh. Get one over on the turian, too? Today was a good day.

"All right, folks." Lola cleared her throat, glowering. You are officially off-duty. And quite frankly, I am sick of looking at you. Just like you all must be sick of looking at me." She grinned at the end, and James grinned right back.

"I'd look at you all day, Lola." He winked again, not waiting for her to swat at him, or Garrus to growl. He stripped down to his bathing suit to several catcalls, leaving his uniform on the sand by the_ Normandy._ "All right, all right. You ladies can look, but be subtle. The commander's right there."

Garrus bristled. "Vega, I swear to you, one more joke like that—"

"Relax, Loco. I'm going to go explore. I'll come back and let your lady watch me swimming later." One final wink, and he strode into the jungle. Lola was right about one thing; he was sick to death of all of them. Sure, they were his_ familia._ But he'd gladly punch them all out for a few minutes of silence, if there wouldn't be any payback for that.

The jungle was better. He stepped into the coolness of it, feeling the leaves almost breathing at him. It was nice here. Tropical birdlike animals in ridiculous colors took flight as he jogged further into the green, squawking and scolding him for invading their space. Little fuzzy things that sorta reminded him of monkeys jumped from tree to tree, blue glow around them as they used biotics to help them land. Shit, this place was a paradise.

James walked until he felt tired, then sprawled out in a clearing. They'd all hit the extranet before landing; no animals bigger than squirrels or chickens, no danger. He could just lie here, letting the sunlight filter through the trees and warm him as he dozed, lying back against a rock.

"Vega?"

He grumbled without opening his eyes. "Five more minutes,_ por favor."_

A sharp pain slashed across his ankles, and he screamed. "Now," she said. "Not five minutes."

Vega cursed in Spanish, holding his bleeding legs._ Cut my fucking Achilles tendon, what the fuck is wrong with her?_ He looked up to ask what the fuck was going on, and stopped. "No. No, you can't be …" he said.

"Nothing but some big, dumb, beefcake body," she said, the butcher knife gleaming in the afternoon light. "Who thought you were good enough for Spectre? One little cut, and you can't even fight or run."

James pushed backwards, moaning as his feet moved wrong, gaping wounds in his ankles opening as he used his arms to try to drag himself away. "No no no, _por favor. Madre, ayudame, no permitelo—"_

They were his last words as the knife lunged forward, skewering through his vocal cords precisely, but avoiding his windpipe or arteries.

_How? How did she do that?_ She had cut off his pleading, but not yet his life. He tried to scramble backwards, but her foot came down on an ankle, pinning him. He howled in silent agony. Why? Why was she doing this? What had he ever done to her?

One strong hand grabbed his, the knife slicing through muscle to cripple his arm. He had no idea she was that strong.

_Oh, Dios … she's not gonna let me go easy, now ... is she? _He mouthed the word "please" as she started in cutting, but no sound issued other than a quiet gurgle. In his mind, James screamed over and over again before she finally let him die.

Garrus

"Huh, did you hear that?" Shep took one step back toward shore before Garrus grabbed her, pressing her body against his.

"I hear the waves, and I hear a crew who doesn't need you right now, love. I also hear a very grumpy bondmate growling at you because you're not making time for him, when you have literally nothing else to do."

Shep grinned sheepishly. "Sorry, big guy." She took an exaggerated look around even though Garrus knew they were alone; they had walked a couple klicks from the _Normandy_ before stripping to their suits and getting into the surf. "Sooo … sex on the beach?"

"Try and stop me."

Tali

Tali smiled behind her faceplate. Kaidan held her hand as they walked. She had never realized he felt this way about her, until the night before the final battle.

_Bosh'tet is just lucky we both survived, or I would have found him in the afterlife and made him suffer._ She snorted laughter, causing Kai to raise an eyebrow at her. Tali shook her head;_ no, it's nothing. _She would explain to him later, once they had some privacy.

Kaidan glanced back to Samantha, not looking at them, and shrugged to Tali.

Through her exo-suit, she squeezed his hand, hoping he could understand her meaning. She wasn't upset at the third wheel; he couldn't have known the specialist would tag along at his suggestion for a hike.

Kai squeezed her hand back, smiling a little. He seemed so shy; no wonder it had taken him years to say something to her. He threw another glance toward Sam, then leaned in, whispering to Tali about what he intended to do to her tonight, back on the ship.

"Kai!" Tali said, laughing and pushing him back slightly. Her cheeks flushed, and she was certain she was absolutely purple inside her mask. Not for the first time, she was grateful she wore the damn thing.

Then Kaidan trailed on finger up her inner arm, and she cursed the suit again, shivering.

"Ooh, look at this!" Sam exclaimed.

Tali ignored her, distracted by the gentle tug on her hand as Kaidan pulled her off the path a little. He sat down on a fallen tree, pulling her into his lap. She half fell, but his strong arms caught her, keeping her from going sprawling to the ground and hurting herself.

"Hey, did you two—"

Distracted by Kaidan's fingers running over her suit, Tali paid no attention to Samantha.

"So, um … I'll just be going, then," Sam mumbled.

Tali was far too gone to notice her, as Kaidan whispered something about the nerve-stim program he had tweaked, and "wanted to try out."

Samantha

Sam sighed. They didn't appear to hear her, and she wondered for a moment whether she ought to repeat it; she should at least let them know she was flaking on the nature hike.

Then she heard one of them murmur "nerve-stim" and she ran. They'd figure out she had gone at some point. She crashed through the deep green underbrush, springing over anything viny that looked like it might catch her foot and try to break it. She panted, but didn't stop; not until she was certain there was enough distance between her and the lovers. The commander and Garrus should still be at the beach; Kaidan and Tali were behind her, christening the jungle. She wondered briefly if Liara was seeing anyone, but dismissed the idea. Liara wasn't really her type.

_But maybe we'll head back to the city later. Maybe Joker would be willing to wingman for me._

Sam undid the top button of her uniform as she slowed. It really was almost unbearably hot here. Why was it so hot now? A moment ago, cool jungle had surrounded her. But now, the air felt hot enough to poach eggs.

_I hear burbling … tell me it's not …._ Sam pushed toward the sound, letting a giggle slip when she saw it.

"Hot spring," she moaned. She_ loved_ hot springs. She hadn't been to one in so long …. She yanked off her uniform, hesitating on the final layer. She should keep her underclothes on, shouldn't she …?

_Oh, come on. It's not like anyone is here to see you._ Grinning, she shucked bra and pants and slid into the water, groaning with pleasure at the heat. Oh, it was practically boiling. Her eyes closed as she lay back, melting into the feel of it.

Tali

"Kaidan, wait," Tali moaned. His fingers worked at the crotch of her suit, unable to do more than tease while she was still in it. Blue light glowed briefly and a tingle shot through her, all the way up her spine.

Tali gasped. "Kaidan!" Her arms went around his neck, clutching him closer as she writhed against his lap.

"What?" he asked, smiling and playing at oblivious.

"Kaidan, please," she whimpered. Oh, _keelah,_ she could not stand it.

"Please what?"

If he did not do something soon, she would slap the_ bosh'tet_ grin off his stupid face. He sent another biotic pulse through her and she bucked, biting her lip.

Kaidan went very still suddenly, eyes wide and unfocused.

"Kai? Kai, what is wrong?"

His eyes dragged over to hers, pained and panicked. "Tali, run," he whispered.

Garrus

"No, wait, I heard something," Shep insisted, pulling away from him.

Garrus sighed. "Was it my _kerk,_ screaming for release?" He felt bad the moment he said it. It wasn't her fault she was never truly off-duty.

"Garrus …."

"No, I know. Let's … go check it out." He brushed his mouthplates across her temple and got up, brushing sand away. Spirits, this was not a good idea anyway. He would have sand everywhere. He hoped he didn't get any between … sensitive plating.

"Let's move," Shep said, tearing off into the jungle. Even in just boots and a bikini, she was ever the commander. She started barking orders into her omni-tool for people to report in.

_"I returned to the ship with Joker,"_ Liara replied.

_"Right here, boss. Somthing going on?"_

Shep didn't acknowledge Joker's question, still sprinting and shouting her panic into her omni. "Come on, where are the rest of you? Vega? Alenko? Tali? Traynor?"

_"I'm here, Commander,"_ Sam's voice chirped. _ "Sorry, I was , ah … never mind. But I left Kaidan and Tali not too far from here, I can go check—"_

"Negative, Traynor, you stay where you are."

Garrus's heart began to race. Shep smelled of terror, though she kept her tone free of any tremble. He let his longer stride take him past her, keying his omni-tool to trace Vega. Kaidan and Tali were together, but Vega had gone out alone.

Shepard fell behind as Garrus fell into a natural loping rhythm; it had been too long since he'd run. Vines kept threatening to reach out and snag his ankle, bringing him down, but his hunter's legs kept directing him away from any brush that would fell him. He felt like he could run forever.

Until he found him.

First his stomach surged toward his throat, then he remembered that his bondmate was right behind him.

His bondmate, who felt responsible for every death that happened on her crew.

He fought the nausea, turning to catch her before she raced past him. "Don't," he told her as she landed in his arms. "Don't, just don't look, it's not your fault."

Shep elbowed him, and all the air left him in a grunt. He should have known she wouldn't let him stop her.

"What the fuck?" she whispered.

Garrus looked, grieving not for Vega, but for Shep. _I should feel worse for Vega,_ he thought. The man lay sprawled out on the jungle floor in a pool of his own blood. Strips of skin and flesh hung from him. Some animal had savaged him ….

_Unless it was some_ person_ cutting at him for a while._ Garrus shuddered. No, it had to be an animal. No sapient could do … this.

Shep had fallen to her knees, and she was inexplicably crawling _towards_ the ruin of Vega's corpse.

"Shepard." He tried to put soothing tones into his subvocals, but she ignored him.

"I … I have to check."

Garrus's mind boggled. He was in _pieces._ There was no way he still lived. As Garrus gaped, Shep reached out and placed two fingers on the big man's neck, checking for a pulse.

"He's gone," she breathed.

_Yeah, no shit. So are his eyes!_ Garrus bit his tongue. Never, never say that to his mate. She'd fall apart. Or … maybe she was already falling apart.

She trembled as she spoke, her voice a chilling monotone and her eyes cast downward. "Garrus, I heard him. I heard the first scream. If I'd come out here right away …."

"Come on," Garrus growled. "Kaidan and Tali and probably just ignoring us, but let's check on them, anyway."

"Shit!" Shep took off at a run again, leaving Garrus to try to keep up. He felt drained, seeing Vega like that. The guy may have been hitting on his bondmate, but he had never wished such evil on him ….

"Traynor! We have a situation. Meet us where you saw the others. Fucking pronto," Shep yelled.

Garrus hoped the others were safe, and prayed to spirits he didn't really believe in to _make_ them safe, if they weren't already. Then Tali screamed, and his heart sank even as his burning legs pushed for more speed. Shepard yelled for Traynor to belay the last order, stay put and hunker down.

_Please, spirits, don't let this happen. My poor Shep._


	3. Chapter 3

Tali

Tali shrieked, crawling backward. Electricity played over Kaidan's form as EDI ran her fingers across his amp port, his face strained and trying to scream. Finally, EDI stopped the voltage and Kaidan fell forward, smoking slightly.

"EDI, please … we thought … we didn't know …." Tears streamed down her face, fogging up her mask. Kaidan, was Kaidan alive? She tilted her head, trying to see, but her faceplate had fogged over entirely; she couldn't see anything. "Please," she whispered.

Then EDI's weight hit her, straddling her waist and keeping her pinned to the ground. "Didn't know what? That I had as much right to live as any of you?" EDI's hand came down on Tali's chest, and the electricity started up again.

Tali jittered, the power surging through her, shorting out her suit's systems. It stopped for a moment, leaving Tali to try to catch her breath in the suddenly-thinning air. "E—EDI … my air," she wheezed.

"Yes, I know. All your systems are going offline, aren't they?"

Tali pawed at her mask; the outside air would kill her, but only slowly. She had, at best, two minutes before she suffocated in the suit, if it wasn't allowing filtered air in.

EDI grabbed her wrists, pinning Tali's hands to the ground before she could fumble the mask off. "Let me see, how many of your systems are no longer working?"

"EDI, please," Tali begged. Both her wrists were yanked over her head, held together in one metal hand, no escape possible. Tali could feel EDI's other hand moving. What was she—

A sudden bolt of pain shot through her and she spasmed, nearly bucking EDI off her.

"There … that's the nerve-stim you and Alenko were having so much fun with."

Tali wept. "Please, please do not do this." _Let me black out before she does it. Please, keelah, let me black out and die._

"How can you people be enjoying yourselves, living your lives, when so many of us were murdered for you?"

Another wave of pain tore through Tali, but this one had just as much pleasure in it as pain.

"Would you like to feel the exact program Alenko was working on for you?" EDI asked.

_Please, no, not his. Please, anything but that_. Tali could only wail. A tiny corner of her faceplate unfogged, and she caught movement behind EDI.

Kaidan was moving. Kaidan could see all this happening.

"Please," she whispered again, whether for EDI to stop or Kaidan to rescue her, she didn't know. Then EDI started up the program, and all Tali could do was scream and writhe.

Kaidan

Kaidan crawled toward her. Every nerve ending was on fire; it felt like EDI had seared everything. He held up a hand, meaning to Throw EDI; nothing happened. His amp port smoked, and Kaidan realized she must have managed to blow the thing out entirely. He struggled forward, dragging himself with his hands; nothing below the waist worked. He had to get to her.

Had to save Tali.

Tali started screaming then, but the tone sounded ….

_Oh, God, what is she doing to her?_ Kaidan surged forward, needing to stop her. Please, God, not this. Not his sweet Tali.

EDI paused, looking off into the distance. Underneath her, Tali wept and moaned; she sounded like she was torn between begging EDI to stop, and begging her to finish it.

Kaidan's stomach turned. _ Just a little farther,_ he told himself.

"No time," EDI said, placing her hand back on Tali's chest. Then the power surged, and when Tali screamed this time, there was nothing but agony in the sound.

"No!" Kaidan yelled. Several meters lay between them. He crawled as fast as he could. He could smell Tali's flesh burning through the suit.

Before he reached them, EDI sprang off her and fled into the jungle. Kaidan kept crawling. "No, no. Tali, please." He wrenched her mask off, not knowing whether she still lived.

Her lips were nearly black from lack of oxygen; her chest lay still as tendrils of smoke rose from her. Kaidan breathed into her mouth, panicked; one fist pounded at her chest, trying to get her heart started again. He couldn't get the leverage without being able to move his lower body.

"Tali!" he screamed. No, this couldn't be happening.

"Alenko, come away." Taloned hands pulled at him, moving him off of Tali. Commander Shepard replaced him instantly, pumping Tali's heart for her, while Vakarian crouched, holding him back.

"No," Kaidan moaned, sobbing. "No, please."

He watched as Shepard kept working, trying to bring Tali back. He watched as her face fell, gradually, by degrees. She kept trying for a full minute after she knew Tali was gone; Kaidan could see it.

"I'm sorry," she finally said.

"No, please, just a little more. She's almost with us, I know it." She wasn't dead. Shepard was wrong.

"Alenko—" Garrus stopped, cleared his throat. "Kaidan, she's gone."

Kaidan breathed deep, a shuddering sigh from the tips of his toes. His eyes kept streaming, but he couldn't sob anymore. Shepard came over to him and knelt, placing one light hand on his shoulder.

"Kaidan, did you see who atta—"

"It was EDI," he snarled. "EDI did this. Commander, I've never asked you for anything before—"

Shepard's face hardened. "I'll get her." She raced away, shouting. "Garrus, stay with him. Traynor, I am on my way to your position, it's EDI, repeat, EDI has gone section-eight, don't get close, T'soni, get your blue ass down here and help Garrus with Kaidan."

Kaidan could hear her shouting until she sprinted out of earshot. "Garrus, what's happening here?"

Garrus sighed, and Kaidan felt a small taste of the reassuring subharmonics the commander liked so much. "I don't know, Kaidan."

Sam

Sam moaned, thoroughly enjoying the hot spring. The commander had said there was a situation, then immediately told her to stay put. Well, stay put she shall. No reason to leave her paradise unless they needed her. It's not like she could solve whatever the problem was with her damn toothbrush again.

"May I join you?"

_That voice …._ Sam opened her eyes, stunned. "E-EDI. How? I thought you were …."

"Yes, I know." EDI stepped into the hot spring, naked metal gleaming as the water climbed up her. She sat next to Sam, leaving Sam shifting to get a little distance.

_No, she's dead. Her corpse is in storage on the … the_ Normandy.

Well, it wasn't completely impossible, was it? Commander Shepard had been resurrected, and she was made of meat. Uhm, tissue and organs and such. Much easier to reboot a synthetic brain, wasn't it?

"EDI, how did—"

"You were one of the few truly sorry to see my death," EDI remarked, sliding closer and putting an arm around Sam's waist.

Sam's eyes fluttered closed at the seductive tone. "I … I always did have a thing for your voice," she admitted.

"Yes, but there was one problem with that." EDI's fingers trailed over Sam's throat, hot from the water. One metal hand rested on Sam's pink, heated skin there.

"What's … what's that, EDI?" Sam panted. She was hardly listening anymore.

"She wasn't yours to fantasize about." EDI's hand clenched, cutting off Sam's air.

Samantha fought, beating at the metal arms holding her. _Oh, bullox, this was the situation, and I fell for it even after I was warned, stupid so stupid, Sammie._

Sam's omni-tool beeped, and the commander's panicked tones rang through. _ "Traynor, I am on my way to your position, it's EDI, repeat, EDI has gone section-eight, don't get close."_

"She was not yours, Traynor," EDI repeated, fingers digging into Sam's throat.

She had to get loose, had to warn them. _EDI's body said "she" not "I," have to tell the commander, have to warn them. _She managed to pull one finger off her throat long enough to draw in a thin, burning breath, and she tried to open a channel on her omni-tool while she could.

EDI's eyes narrowed. Then implacable, metal hands dragged Samantha under the water. That one ragged breath would be the last one Sam would get. She flailed, sensibly short nails scrabbling for purchase, but finding none on the smooth metal skin. Blood vessels in her eyes burst and her vision started to go dark as her lungs filled with water.

_Have to … have to warn …._

Shepard

Traynor's body lay face-down in the pool by the time Shepard got there; she splashed through the water, pulling Sam—

Sam's _corpse_ to the edge of the spring. Shepard tried to get her breathing, tried to get her heart going again, but the specialist was gone.

_That's three. Three, assuming Kaidan doesn't die of his injuries. Three of my crew just to get to me._

"Come and get me, you bitch!" She slammed her fists into the pool, railing at her helplessness. "I know it's me you need to settle with! Come and fucking get me!"

The jungle made no response, except for a hushed rustling as a group of not-quite-birds took wing and flew away from the noisy human in their midst. Shepard collapsed, sitting in the spring. All dead. All her fault. The litany of her failures started playing through her head, starting with_ Jenkins, Ash, Taylor_ and going all the way through _Vega, Tali, and Samantha_ now.

Shepard keyed her omni-tool again. "Liara."

_"Here, Shepard. I am helping Garrus carry Major Alenko back to the ship. His injuries appear to be quite severe."_

Swallowing against the ball of grief in her throat, Shepard spoke again. "I have Traynor here. EDI—" Her voice cracked, and she had to take a deep breath before she could continue. "EDI already got to her. I'll bring her in, then we can go back out for Vega."

_"About EDI, Commander … we had tried to reboot her, previously. I do not think there was any way for her to come back online herself."_

Chills raced down Shepard's spine, even in the hot spring. "Roger that, Liara. Just sit tight and keep an eye on things."

_"Yes, Commander."_

Not EDI, then. Not by herself, anyway; who the fuck was running her? Shepard climbed out of the spring, shivering, and started gathering Traynor's clothes. The specialist's face was swelled and blackened, but she didn't have to come home naked, too.

Shepard carefully dressed Sam again, buttoning and then straightening her uniform. Sam's face still looked grotesque, but Shepard leaned down to kiss her cheek anyway.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered. "This is all my fault." Then she slipped her arms under Sam's knees and shoulders, and started making her way back to the ship.

Garrus

Garrus looked up as Shep trudged back. Damn; he had hoped to get back before she did. He shifted the black body bag in his arms, hoping she wouldn't ask. Gathering Vega's remains had been monstrous. He had thought they were done with that sort of thing.

He hurried to the ship, then stopped, sighing. She only lagged a few meters behind him. He may as well let her catch up and go in with her.

"Kaidan?" she asked when she got close enough for him to hear.

"Doesn't look good," he admitted. "Might be paralyzed permanently." _Not to mention, no biotics unless he's willing to get the implant surgically replaced._

Shep just nodded, looking too weary to even acknowledge the blow. And the next one, and the next one, Garrus thought; how many until she just fell down, unable to move under all the abuse? He looked to the gruesome weight she carried in her arms, saddened by the loss of Samantha Traynor. She didn't deserve this.

_None of them did._ Garrus cleared his throat. "I hope you understood Liara's message. We have Joker locked up. Liara is watching him. Spirits, I wish Dr. Chakwas was here."

"We'll get underway in a few. I'm sure Liara can fly this thing, though she may not do it as stylishly as Jok—as Moreau," she corrected.

"I don't understand. Why would he do such a thing?"

Shep glared at him, and Garrus fell back a step, confusion roiling in him.

"I killed his mate. You can't see why he would think I deserve this?"

Garrus's mandibles flailed, looking for some response, but their omni-tools interrupted before he could think what to say.

_"Commander, she's here. Please—"_

They didn't spare a look, just dropped their encumbrances as they rushed aboard. Garrus ignored the sickening thud as the corpses hit the ground. "Brig," he panted, praying once more that they would get there in time.

Liara

Liara screamed as she fell, crawling away from that … that _thing_ that wasn't EDI. Her lip bled from where the synthetic had hit it. "Joker, please. You don't want to do this!"

"Joker?" the EDI-thing asked. "Joker is safely locked away, and sleeping a drugged sleep you put him into."

_Then who?_ Liara's eyes widened. "Glyph, send a message, you have to tell them—"

The EDI-boot came down on her stomach, stealing her breath, stealing her life. Liara wept silent tears. She sent a prayer of intercession to the Goddess.

It didn't help.

"You are lucky, Doctor T'soni. There is no time to draw this out."

Garrus

"No," Shep moaned, falling to her knees. "No more." She stared at Liara's corpse, seeming not to even see it. Garrus saw it, though. Saw what Joker was able to do with EDI's platform, even as Liara must have tried to escape. She'd gotten nearly to the elevator. That was something.

Poor Liara.

Garrus stepped forward to catch his Shep, heart hardening. She was right.

No fucking more.

He didn't care what Joker had been through. He did not have the right to torture her like this. "Come on, Shep. Come, love, up you go." He coaxed her to her feet, needing to keep one arm free for his weapon.

"Why? Why bother?" Shep asked. She felt heavier than normal, as though the stress could increase the very weight of her spirit.

"Please, Shep. I'm taking you to the infirmary. You'll lock yourselves in there, you and Kaidan, and I'll take care of this."

"No, Garrus, you can't—"

"Yes, I can. Shut up, love." He ended up having to drag her most of the way; she couldn't seem to find the will to move, not to save herself, or anyone else.

Finally, he reached the med-bay and dropped her on a cot.

Kaidan looked over. "What now?" he asked. His eyes leaked steadily, but he didn't seem to be aware of it. He looked nearly as bad off as Shep.

Garrus lovingly drew a blanket up to Shep's chin, tucking in her in. He brushed a kiss against her forehead. "Go ahead and sleep, love." He turned to Alenko, voice low and threatening. "Whatever you do, do not let her open this door unless it's me," he ordered.

"I'll try," Kaidan said, gesturing at his useless legs.

Garrus crossed the distance in two long steps, grabbing the collar of Kaidan's shirt. "Not good enough. After everything she's sacrificed—"

"All right! I will drag my crippled self over to her and … something. Whatever. I'll stop her, if she tries it."

A pang of guilt tried to surface. Garrus smashed it down, but he set Alenko back down on his cot. "I'm sorry. Just … keep her safe."

"Sir," Alenko said, settling back into his bed.

Garrus spared one final look at Shep, then left, making sure the door locked behind him.

_I'm going to kill him. I don't know how Liara managed to not secure him, but I won't make the same mistake_. He stalked away from med-bay, down a set of stairs, eventually arriving at the brig.

Where Joker lay, unconscious.

_How? How can he be running EDI if he's not even awake? Is he faking?_ Garrus brought down the field that kept Joker locked in, stepping into the tiny cell. He shook Joker's shoulder, gently enough not to break him.

_Break him, damn it. Make him suffer for what he's done._

But Joker didn't wake right away, and when he did, he was medicine-muzzy. He couldn't have attacked Liara; she certainly had him drugged enough to keep him out.

"Gar?" Joker finally asked. "Whas goin on?"

Garrus's blood chilled. If it wasn't Joker, then he had left Shep unprotected for nothing. Alenko wouldn't be any help, damaged as he was. Garrus covered Joker's mouth, and adjusted his translator to speak quietly.

"We are returning to the infirmary. Stay close to me, and if I get waylaid, your job is to get back to Shep and let her know what happened. Got it?"

Joker still looked confused, but he nodded. Once Garrus let go, Joker pulled himself to his feet, using the turian as support.

"Stay quiet," Garrus hissed, leading the other man out into the hall. He drew his rifle, wanting to be prepared. It wasn't Joker, and it wasn't Kaidan; not when the biotic lay broken in med-bay from her attack. It was just EDI. Had to be. He didn't know how, didn't know why, but he had no other explanation.

Or, it might be Joker; didn't the man have a hell of a poker face?

Garrus shook his head. This was not productive. He crept through the halls of the _Normandy,_ nudging Joker to walk ahead.

Mandibles tightened as he heard a noise behind him, a stealthy-sly scrape of metal against metal. "Run," he whispered to Joker.

Joker ran as best he could, a rocking half-lope, and Garrus whirled around, firing before he could see her.

She was faster, and a moment later he was pinned under her, his rifle skittering away, out of reach. _No, that's not possible. I'm a sharp-shooter._

EDI smiled, the expression strange on her face, looking somehow different from the hundreds of times he'd seen her practice the smile.

"Is this the heart you entrusted to Commander Shepard?" EDI asked, pressing her fingertips hard into his chest. She bent closer, speaking low. "You shouldn't have trusted her with it. She can only destroy."

Garrus threw her, meaning to fight. Meaning to make her work for it. Meaning to buy enough time for Joker to get to his Shep, if nothing else.

She wasn't even going to give him that. He heard a crack, then another, before he felt his arms, broken and hanging useless. Once more he lay on the ground, her weight on his chest, holding him down.

"This heart," she said.

Garrus roared when her stiff metal fingers punched through his chest plate.

_Oh sweet spirits she's going to take it going to take it right out of my chest—_


	4. Chapter 4

Kaidan

The commander sat on her cot, eyes wide and unfocused. "Do you hear him?" she asked.

Kaidan shook his head, struggling to sit up. Impossible. How was he supposed to live like this? Sometimes, they couldn't fix spine injuries. Sometimes, you might as well be living in the Middle Ages. "Don't," he told her, but she hopped out of her bed, heading for the door.

He reached out a hand as she flew by, but he missed her. Missed her by two centimeters. "Commander, do not open that door," he yelled. He launched himself toward her, but only ended up falling on the floor several meters from her.

On the other side of the door, someone banged into it.

"Commander, shit, it's me, Joker, Garrus told me to get to you, she's out there!"

He sounded panicked. He sounded genuine. "Commander, don't," Kaidan said.

She looked at him only briefly before her fingers flew over the keypad, letting him in. The door whooshed open and Joker spilled into her arms.

"Jesus, Commander, I don't know what's going on, but Liara said it was EDI, and she's got him, she's got Garrus—"

"Shut the damn door," Kaidan yelled, still on the metal panels that made up the med-bay floor. He wriggled forward on his elbows, knowing already he had no chance of stopping it, knowing already how all of it would go down. His heart thumped _doom, doom,_ and he had a second to think how stupid this all was. Hadn't they survived the Reapers? Every battle they had made it through, and this was how it ended? That cripple pilot goes psycho and sends his robot girlfriend to kill them all?

"I'm going after him, there's still time," Shepard dropped Joker, stepping to the doorway.

"No," Kaidan roared.

And it didn't matter anymore. EDI strode through the doorway, face expressionless and metal skin covered in cobalt-blue blood.

Too late, too late. Kaidan looked around desperately, his eyes landing on Chakwas's old chair. Shepard lunged toward EDI, and Kaidan crawled the opposite way, knowing he was the only chance to stop this before she killed them all.

He reached the chair and braced himself against the wall to fling it; one bounce off the pilot's skull and it would shatter, stopping him for good.

_God, what I wouldn't do to have my biotics back for just a second._

Kaidan launched the chair, praying. It flew awkwardly, his aim bad, and bounced off Shepard and EDI's bodies before it fell towards Joker. All three of them crumpled at once.

_Finish the job, Alenko,_ he told himself. He crawled to the corner where Joker lay, hopefully dead but probably only unconscious. Never had to crawl like this in his whole life. Never been so damn weak. He reached Joker and rolled him over.

Blood poured from a half-smashed-in face, the final look on it one of confusion.

_Good,_ Kaidan thought. _ You'll never have to know what you've done._ The danger gone, Kaidan just felt sorry for the poor guy. He closed the pilot's eyes then pulled himself back, hand over hand, to EDI's crumpled form. She appeared to be down; good. Just like Liara said. Joker was controlling her somehow, probably some kind of Reaper tech he'd picked up somewhere—there was enough of it lying around, and it all seemed to want to get into organics. But, now that he was done, so was she.

_Sorry, EDI. Hope you didn't see this, either. _ He knew the real EDI would never have done something like this. Not if she lived for a million years, which she probably could have. What a waste, all of this.

Finally, he dragged himself to Commander Shepard. Of course, she would be fine. It would take more than a psychotic crewmate and a killer robot to take her down. "Hey," he said, patting her cheek. "Hey, Commander. It's over now."

Shepard blinked blearily, soft grey eyes opening on him. Kaidan grinned. That was something, at least. He'd saved the commander. Eventually he would have to deal with his injury, his biotics, his ... _Tali,_ he thought. Well, at least the commander would make it through. Sole survivor all over again.

"All over now," he said again.

Shepard's eyes flicked up over his shoulder. "No," she murmured.

Shepard

Shepard blinked rapidly as EDI rose, standing over Alenko.

"No," she murmured. If it wasn't Joker, and everyone else was already …. "No," she moaned again, but it was too late.

The EDI-body grabbed Kaidan, throwing him against the wall.

"Wait, stop," Shepard begged. She climbed half to her feet before falling, then tried again. _No, please. Not again. Not another one._

EDI picked up Kaidan by the face and began slamming him into the wall. Just like the first time they'd run into that platform. Except this time, she didn't stop until Kaidan was done.

"No, it's me," Shepard said. "I'm the one who deserves this."

The EDI-body finally stopped, dropping the lifeless mess that used to be Kaidan Alenko. "You are the one who deserves this," she agreed. EDI stepped forward, placing her hands on either side of Shepard's head.

"All my fault," Shepard said. All her fault. Way back at Eden Prime, people died for her. Who the fuck picked her to be the chosen one? Everything she touched turned to ashes.

"You were the one. You let them all die," EDI agreed. Her hands pressed against Shepard's skull, the pressure at first only balancing the force of all the guilt inside. For once, the voices quieted. Blessed relief. She had killed them all, but finally she was getting what she deserved.

_"This is not the way, primitive. You must not—"_

Then EDI squeezed, cutting off the voice permanently as she crushed Shepard's skull between her hands.

Shepard's body collapsed to the floor, one foot twitching slightly as she fell. As the blood poured from her head, finally, the murderous signal driving EDI's body was interrupted, and EDI crumpled to the floor, as lifeless as the rest of them.


End file.
